i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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