i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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