pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
