Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
