She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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