Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
