batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
As shirtless as possible
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
