party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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