therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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