Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
