I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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