I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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