His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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