it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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