Umm I'm too high to move.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
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He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
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My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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