very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
