Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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