Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
