whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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