in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
