wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
