yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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