was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
