I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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