Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
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I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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