My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
