Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
