I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
how drunk are you?
Several
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
