I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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