Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
