i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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