K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
