Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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