Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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