She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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