I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
