wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Everclear isn't food dammit
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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