It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Who died my cat blue again?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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