WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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