She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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