I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
