I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
