R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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