Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
