its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
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Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
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It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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