My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
