are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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