thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
