absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
