Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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