marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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