why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
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