I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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