you guys were way drunker than both of me
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
