i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
