That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
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If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
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HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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