Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She made me pour olive oil on her.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
