By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
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4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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