he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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