i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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