I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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