i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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